How to Support Your Child Without Adding Pressure

As a parent, we want our children to have opportunities in life that maybe we didn't have. We want them to experience "all the things" — be it youth sports, music, dance, or other organized activities. Balancing your support of their development and excitement to see them perform without adding pressure can be hard to do.

Yes, encouraging children is essential, but excessive pressure can lead to stress, burnout, and even mental health issues in children. This is particularly common in youth sports, where the drive to excel can sometimes overshadow the joy of simply being on the team.

SEE ALSO: Supporting the mental health of athletes

Here are some strategies parents can use to help support their child effectively without overstepping and adding pressure.

Focus on Effort, Not Just Outcomes

Positive praise is important for kids of all ages. Try to notice the effort your student is putting into their work! Let them know you see them working hard, being creative, and doing their best. Respond to their work by saying, "I see how hard you worked on that project" rather than "You got an A!" 

Be an Active Listener

Your child is going to have many positive and negative experiences in life. Sometimes they come to us for help and sometimes they come to us to listen. Try asking your child, "Do you want my help with this?" or "What's the best way I can support you with this? I'm here to listen." Giving your child opportunities to work through problems and issues on their own helps them build resilience and tolerance to situations that can cause anxiety or worry. Don't try to rescue them from those learning opportunities! Instead, be a listening ear and help them explore the solutions they come up with. 

Encourage Your Child to Set Goals

Setting goals is a helpful strategy for kids to learn. As adults, we can get in the habit of setting expectations and goals for our kids that they are not invested in or that are putting more pressure on them than we realize. Have conversations with your kids about what their goals are and focus on the effort they are putting into meeting those goals. Use positive praise when you see them sticking to their plan and ask questions about how they are feeling. Take time to emotionally invest in their goals with them and remind them that they are always enough!

Turn Mistakes into Learning Opportunities

Remind yourself and your child that perfection is not the goal. We can find value in mistakes and use them to build a stronger foundation of knowledge. Model this strategy for your kids and try to implement it in your everyday life. Give your kids room to find a better solution and praise their dedication. Let them know that it's ok to rest and give themselves space to breathe as well. 

Avoid Comparisons

We live in a world that makes it easy to compare yourself to others in a million different ways. It's easy to get caught up in the belief that we constantly need to keep up with others and find ways to put ourselves down based on what we "see" other people have and what they are doing. Avoid comparing your kids to each other, to yourself, to classmates...to ANYONE. Celebrate their uniqueness and show unconditional love and support. 

Support Your Child By Nurturing Growth

Supporting your child involves nurturing their growth while allowing them the space to explore, fail, and succeed on their own terms. By focusing on effort, embracing mistakes, and promoting balance, you can help your child thrive without the added pressure.