No parent wants to get that call from the school, saying your child was involved in something extremely inappropriate. These calls leave you chilled as a parent, wondering where you went wrong, who they’re hanging out with, and whether you even know your child anymore.
As teens grow, they have much to navigate, whether friendships, romantic relationships, or family dynamics. Each type of relationship has something in common — the need for boundaries. Learning to set emotional and physical boundaries will help your teen protect their well-being, establish self-respect, and maintain healthy relationships into the future.
But…that kid that just got in trouble at school? They might be struggling to communicate their limits and need a caring adult to step in and guide them through setting healthy boundaries.
Why Boundaries Matter
Boundaries help us define what is comfortable and what is not. Without boundaries, teens might become vulnerable to manipulation, peer pressure, or bullying. Setting boundaries helps teens protect their emotional and physical space while keeping up with important relationships. Boundaries help teens to:
Say no to peer pressure related to drugs, alcohol, or risky behaviors.
Request personal space when they feel overwhelmed.
Ask friends not to share private conversations with others.
Set limits on how they engage with others digitally.
Helping teens develop these skills can prevent future conflicts, reduce anxiety, and support their independence. When teens learn to set boundaries early, they gain confidence in advocating for themselves in various situations.
How to Help Your Teen Set Boundaries
1: Teach them to identify their feelings.
Encourage your teen to recognize and name their emotions. When they notice frustration, discomfort, or disrespect, they will know when a boundary needs to be set.
2: Reinforce trusting their gut.
If something feels wrong, it probably is. Teach your teen to trust their instincts and act accordingly.
3: Define acceptable and unacceptable behaviors.
Discuss what a healthy relationship looks like and what unhealthy looks like. Many teens struggle to recognize toxic friendships or dating relationships, making these conversations essential to calling them out.
4: Set digital boundaries.
Online interactions are a major part of teen relationships. Help your teen set limits around digital communication, how and when they text with others, concerns about sexting, and awareness of online dating abuse.
5: Provide phrases for difficult situations.
Setting boundaries can be hard. Give your teen easy phrases to use when situations feel uncomfortable, like:
“I’m not comfortable with that.”
“I need some time to think about that.”
“I’d rather not talk about that.”
6: Set boundaries at home.
Let your teen set some boundaries at home and with family, like needing time alone or asking for space during stressful times. Respect their limits at home so they’ll feel confident setting them in other places.
7: Friendships have limits.
Teens might feel pressured to please their friends. Remind them they don’t have to agree on everything or always be available to keep a friend.
8: Model healthy boundaries.
Your teen will be watching you. Show them good boundary-setting by respecting your own needs and standing firm in your limits with others.
9: Discuss the risks of not setting boundaries.
Help your teen understand that failing to set boundaries leads to resentment, burnout, and unhealthy relationships. They should always feel empowered to advocate for their needs.
10: Teach your teen to respect others’ boundaries.
Your teen must learn to respect the limits set by others as well. Encourage open communication and mutual respect with their other relationships.
Help Teens Build Strong Relationships
By guiding your teen to set healthy boundaries in their relationships, you are giving them a lifelong skill to grow in self-respect and build more positive connections. With your support, they can learn to advocate for themselves while maintaining friendships built on trust and mutual understanding.
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